Old Mindsets Coming Back to Haunt Me

Is it bad that I expect those in authority above me to not care about those under them?

For example, I have a new instructor at school. She came in halfway through the quarter to replace my original teacher who had to leave. I'm beginning to wonder if she has actual mental problems - either she lies to the class on a daily basis, or she honestly can't remember what she says from day to day. She will mention an assignment, not tell us the due date, then insist in the next class she said it was due that day. Or she will give a due date, then insist she didn't when we try to turn in the assignment. The final straw, though, was the test we took yesterday. She stated, specifically and repeatedly, that the test would be questions pulled from a study guide we created in class, with a few questions from chapter 9 that she added in at the last minute, and one of four essay questions she gave us in advance. She ended last class saying there would be no surprises on the test. The exam she handed us had no questions from the study guide, a different essay question, and ridiculous questions like the title and author of the text book. Granted, most of them were things we should know, but it wasn't what she swore up and down the exam would be. Then she insisted that nothing in the exam should have been a surprise, and if we had been in class we should have know it all. I have been in class. I have perfect attendance and I've never been late. I ended up walking out of the class early because I felt so disrespected by her attitude that if I'd stayed a minute longer I was going to start screaming at her.

Now, my inclination to handle this situation is to not go back to class. Turn in the final project, and never darken the door again. My friends and Jerry say I need to talk to the dean of the school, but I feel that since he hired her he wouldn't have a problem with her behavior. Otherwise, why would he have hired her? I expect that, if I walk into his office and tell him all this, he'll say "Life isn't fair. This is college. Grow up." Despite my preconceptions, I am going to speak with him at Jerry's insistance.

It's not that our dean is mean - he's actually a really nice guy. This behavior is what I expect from all people in a position of authority. I expect that authority to be abused and there to be nothing I can do about it. That's probably why I feel like people are attacking me so much. I always feel completely powerless in a situation with me vs an authority figure. My dad was in the military, and he has the same attitude, so it's just been reinforced my whole life. I don't know what to do about it, though. The thought of trying to challenge authority and being totally shut down terrifies me. I don't have the money to go back on depression medication, so I just want to ignore the situations that might put me back in the mindset that caused the depression in the first place. It's bad enough when I feel that I'm worthless most of the time - having it reinforced at every opportunity is a little more than I can take.

Anyway, I know this attitude probably isn't healthy, but I still don't know what to do about it. Just trying to face down my fear might or might not work. Either it will help, or it will make everything worse. With no middle ground, I prefer to ere on the side of caution and stay silent. Since that option is being denied to me by Jerry, I guess we'll just have to see what happens.